The Pressure Cooker: Surviving and Thriving
Published- 6th July 2024
It's that time of the year again, sounds of hundreds, even thousands of people fill the street. There are articles everyday in the newspaper. All the news channels are talking about it. Houses are filled with flowers. Every student in the country is on an emotional rollercoaster.
Ofcourse, the results of JEE Advance and NEET are declared !!!
While some streets are filled with dhol nagade to celebrate the outstanding performance of some. Scratch that. Few. Most of the streets are filled with angry parents and children. While most of the articles and news channel are talking about the number of students that have qualified from each students few talk about the suicides. While some homes are handing out sweets and receiving flowers for their child's achievement, there are houses who are arranging flowers for their child's demise.
Having undertaken the same journey, let me tell you my story, I think I was 8 when I heard the term IITian. Not because that was the first time I had met one, no kidding my dad is an IITian. But that's the time when you actually start to think and observe a little. Over the years I made up my mind that I will never give the joint entrance examination, even if it means losing my home. Just exaggerating, of course that wouldn't have happened (hopefully). Everyone in my family who had chosen PCM got into IIT. I remember I was vacaying in my grandma's home in sixth standard when my cousin brother scored a whopping rank of 48! And I remember my grandma telling me that I have to reach there. Now I for one never really had a lot of family pressure, just small nudges and encouragement to choose to prepare for IIT. But I just didn't want to. I did not want to do what everyone was doing, I did not want to do what everyone was doing and fail.
But it's India right? Do we ever have that courage to do something out of the books? And so here I was 8 years later taking admission in a coaching institute in kota. I was in 10th. My grandma obviously wanted me to start earlier, but I just didn't want to. But 10th was it, no more running away. Of Course everyone thought it was too late to start preparing since people start studying for these exams from 6th right? And by 10th they would've already completed the entire syllabus. Now 10th was still chill, I still did not study a lot, just the bare minimum enough to keep myself above average. So I did tell you my dad is a prodigy right? So there is an examination in 10th standard called NTSE. My dad was a scholar, and I believe when it came around, that's when I really started to study. Because I wanted to prove myself. Self-expectations : the worst kind of torture you can bring upon oneself. These are simple terms, if contained are a boon but if you let them out of your hand? Well, they can consume you.
Obviously being the dumb kid that I am, I couldn't qualify. See the sentence here? Self criticism, one of the many things I excel at.
Anyways fast forward to my jee experience. It's truly a rollercoaster, you know the ones that go upside down at least seven times and leave you feeling a bit pukish? JEE or NEET is exactly like that. Everyone is under a lot of pressure, parental pressure and societal pressure, in fact surveys suggest that about 88% of the students face parental and societal pressure. But being open about it will certainly help! Never try to bottle up your feelings, you can always find someone to share stuff with, for me it was my parents and even my teachers to some extent, you can find your person too.
Most of you who are reading this might already know about the rank system. I started with the bottom half in my coaching center. I had excessive performance anxiety during the early stages of my preparation. Therefore I used to cheat a lot during the online tests, which is why I never had self confidence, even during my final paper. About 95% of the people have it. We consider it to be a do or die exam, when in reality it really is not. One exam does not define your entire future.
Moving forth when I actually started to get decent scores, I thought that life would be a little stress free now, but who was I kidding? This is when the peer pressure comes in. My grandma used to say “every man for himself” which indeed is true. The environment we are surrounded by while preparing for competitive examinations can be extremely different from the ones we grew up in. The coaching institute often encourages it, referring to it as healthy competition, but is it really? Any competition which leaves a person questioning his own-self would not be considered healthy.
As I progressed in my preparation, the stress and anxiety only grew, impacting not only my physical health but also my surroundings. I began to get paranoid about everything, even a bee buzzing used to piss me off. I always used to think that a minute lost is a decrease in rank. I shifted 5 times just to try to minimize the surrounding noise. But did it work? No. I ultimately came back to my grandma's house, because at least there I had comfort.
Now just one week before mains, I felt a sharp pain in my ear, and my whole body started to tighten up. No kidding, I thought I was going to die. My parents rushed me to the hospital where I was constantly crying ( Don't judge me! Who wouldn't? Imagine studying for two whole ears just to end up dead) There we found out that nothing was really wrong, only a little bit of swollen ear. But the doctor did tell us, that I might have Myofascial Pain Syndrome, which I later googled, obviously. I always knew that mental health could affect your physical health, but this much amount of pain? For your information Myofascial Pain Syndrome is a condition that involves chronic pain in the muscles and surrounding tissues, which can be triggered or exacerbated by stress. It can cause pain in various parts of the body, including the head and neck, potentially leading to referred ear pain.
This was by far the most terrible experience I have had in the last 20 years of my life. So therefore, it is my advice to the students who are preparing for these examinations to think about it a little, to be vocal about these things, and to seek help if needed. Please don't let this burden overpower you, having these thoughts is completely normal, but how you deal with them is the important part.
For those who have just given it, trust me life is much more than an examination, no exam can tell you how capable you are, and I know you must;ve heard it a lot, I did too! I cried the whole day when the results came out. Later my parents took me to a seven star restaurant, I was still wearing my pjs, I mean can you imagine? But hey this is fun right? Down the line you'll probably sit and laugh about it. There would always be someone to look out for you, just never shy away from reaching out, okay?